30 Bart Simpson’s Chalkboard Quotations (teacher humor) http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/bsimp.html
1. I will not aim for the head.
2. I will not barf unless I'm
sick
3. I will not expose the
ignorance of the faculty.
4. I will not conduct my own
fire drills.
5. Funny noises are not funny.
6. My name is not Dr. Death.
7. I will not prescribe
medication.
8. I will not teach others to
fly.
9. Coffee is not for kids.
10. I will not eat things for
money.
11. I will not yell "She's
Dead" at roll call.
12. No one is interested in my
underpants.
13. I do not have diplomatic
immunity.
14. My homework was not stolen by
a one-armed man.
15. I will not go near the
kindergarten turtle.
16. I am not deliciously saucy.
17. There are plenty of
businesses like show business.
18. Five days is not too long to
wait for a gun.
19. I will not instigate
revolution.
20. I will not get very far with
this attitude.
21. I will not grease the monkey
bars.
22. I will not do anything bad
ever again.
23. I will not sleep through my
education.
24. The Christmas Pageant does
not stink.
25. I will not torment the
emotionally frail.
26. I will not dissect things
unless instructed.
27. No one wants to hear my
armpits.
28. I do not have power of
attorney over first graders.
29. I will remember to take my
medication.
30. The First Amendment does not
cover burping.
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