Friday, June 28, 2013

30 Chalkboard Quotations


30 Bart Simpson’s Chalkboard Quotations (teacher humor) http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/bsimp.html

1.       I will not aim for the head.
2.       I will not barf unless I'm sick
3.       I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
4.       I will not conduct my own fire drills.
5.       Funny noises are not funny.
6.       My name is not Dr. Death.
7.       I will not prescribe medication.
8.       I will not teach others to fly.
9.       Coffee is not for kids.
10.   I will not eat things for money.
11.   I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
12.   No one is interested in my underpants.
13.   I do not have diplomatic immunity.
14.   My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
15.   I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
16.   I am not deliciously saucy.
17.   There are plenty of businesses like show business.
18.   Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
19.   I will not instigate revolution.
20.   I will not get very far with this attitude.
21.   I will not grease the monkey bars.
22.   I will not do anything bad ever again.
23.   I will not sleep through my education.
24.   The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
25.   I will not torment the emotionally frail.
26.   I will not dissect things unless instructed.
27.   No one wants to hear my armpits.
28.   I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
29.   I will remember to take my medication.

30.   The First Amendment does not cover burping.

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