I am a blessed woman. I have a husband who gets lost in my
bloodshot, mascara smudged eyes, and can't keep his hands off me for
snuggles, cuddles, and intimacy. He always tells me how amazing I am. I always feel wanted. But I still don't always feel
beautiful. Sometimes it doesn't matter what he says.
Growing up in a conservative Christian homeschooling family,
I felt out of the loop (for better and for worse) and never quite understood
fashion and make up and clothes: my style was made up of making other people
happy (covering up), what we could afford (not much) and comfort/practical
(that was me). (Read more HERE)
Then I became a missionary. I lived in a different world
where I never really would or could fit in completely. Being different became
normal, and since I was used to doing my own thing, I never fully learned my new
culture's way of doing things (which I felt required high heels, and that made
my stomach hurt). Missionary life embraces frugality and not focusing on yourself,
and so I continued on, not giving much investment into fashion. Every time I
re-enter my home culture, I am so far behind it felt like a losing battle not
worth fighting to catch up.
But every once in a while I am asked to sing or speak
somewhere, and as I look around, I didn't look like everyone else. I feel
stares that seem like (may or may not be) they are saying, "Don't you have
self-respect? Can't you put a little effort into this? And I feel small.
Unladylike. Unfeminine. Left out. Ugly. Plain.
The main problem is feeling overwhelmed. I don’t know where
to start. Fashion comes naturally to many people, but I am not one of them. I
would rather stay home than put the effort into dressing up to go out. But the
thing is, I know people who are fashionable. And so I turn to my husband and a
good friend to help me out. They can point me in the right direction until I
figure things out myself.
Who are the
fashionistas in your life? Find them!
Once you have help, perhaps tackle your style bit by bit, to
ensure not being overwhelmed and tempted to give up. Also realize that this is
a continual process: not only is fashion changing, but you are changing. As a
missionary, I need to prepare and anticipate a style update every time I enter
a new country (with different weather, culture, and requirements of me). Every woman has their "things" that
they struggle with and that they do well in the world of fashion. Here are some
areas of fashion to touch on to bring the whole picture together:
- Undergarments: check out the “Perfect Gift for Missionary Women”
- Shoes: check out “Homeschooler’s view of Fashion”
- Outfits: check out “Homeschooler’s view of Fashion”
- Accessories: jewelry: I have not figured this out yet—would love help!
- Accessories: purses/other: I have not figured this out yet—would love help!
- Perfume: take time (and money) to find smells you like and that work for you.
- Daily hygiene routine: what makes you feel good? Do it! Schedule the time you need.
- Makeup: Youtube video to come soonJ
- Nails: I normally go the easy route of cleaning/cutting them short every other week. In Brazil, pedi/manis are less than $5 each, but since having a baby, I can’t find the time. Oh well. Someday.
- Hair: I have been lucky enough to stumble on a haircut that works for me and requires almost no prep time. I wish you the same luck.
What parts do you do well? What parts do you need to work on
first?
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