Wholeness

I wasn't the pretty one. I was the frumpy one who listened to all of the dress code and didn't get in trouble. I had known about the incessant (and often ridiculous) rules before I had signed up. I was working and living with kids who did not have the emotional ability to handle life and the many traumas it had served them--and so it often got taken out on me. And it was my job to love them. It was one of the hardest years of my life, but through it, I realized what life looked like, walking with/needing/wanting God. That program was called EQUIP, at the training center through the Bill Gothard ministry. Yes, THAT one. The one the Duggar family is involved in. 

I was one of the two out of three girls that did not get molested or abused as a child. I do not say that to belittle the statistic, but as a responsibility to fight for the wholeness of 33% of my sisters who were. My heart hurts for those involved in the ATI program who were hurt or abused. If there was incest or abuse in your family, the issue is far deeper than the Bill Gothard books on your table, and I pray you are able to find deeper healing than joining in bitter dialog of "that program." I am not asking for your silence--I am asking for your wholeness.

Being the victim of a cult will not free you. Complete healing is where bitterness and hate have no hold. Don't stop at being angry at ATI, or IBLP, or Bill, or the person who abused you--move on to healing in Christ! That will probably (most definitely) involve counseling. As someone who's been to college with a counseling major--the first thing they did was send me to counseling. BEST THING EVER. I recommend it to anyone who can--even if you haven't been abused. We all have hurts. And we all need to stop and deal with them.

I understand that those who suffered wrongfully need open dialog to walk towards healing. I desire to help and assist as I can. But hate never has a part of healing. Lashing out, ridiculing, or trying to humiliate others (even those who hurt you) will not bring you freedom or peace. There is a better way.

I do not think that Harry Potter books turn people into witches, and I do not think Bill Gothard books turn people into abusers. I can find plenty of things that were wrong with ATI/Bill Gothard ministries/programs that I was a part of for 15 years. I never walked into it blind. But since Bill Gothard was never god to me, I was never a victim of a cult. I am not defined by his, or anyone elses' (Josh Duggar) sins. My experience with the program was a learning, growing one. I have been made whole and strong through a personal relationship with Jesus, not with Bill.

With the Duggar scandal is a whole new round of ATI/Bill Gothard (even homeschooling and purity values) hate, and I am sure it will not be the last. But let it instead be a call for us to help healing for the abuse victims, not for gossip/hate/slander. Let it be a call to stand up and fight for the things that will matter and change the future--like sharing God's healing love and truly loving our families and praying for our children--and taking practical steps to keep them safe in a way that gives them roots and wings.