A tear ran down my face as I thanked God for Ana Sofia. Because in being grateful for her, I acknowledge that she isn't mine. And when something isn't yours you don't have control . And when you don't have control you realize that it might not always be there. It makes me treasure the moment and admit I'm finite. And a little bit sad.
I just got started in this mommy thing. And it often seems to be about all the things that could go wrong rather that the things that go right. I am constantly checking if she is still breathing when she is quiet, rather than relishing all the times she is breathing. For everything I do, there are ten things not to do.
Coming home from the hospital a family of three means everything is new: how does eating work now? How does sleeping work? Pooping? Conversation? Affection? Visitors? Clothing? Bath time? Trial and error as we not only get to know a new soul, but this soul is brand new and just being made. We are not just discovering, we are creating, and we are creating the future and eternity. I want to do that well.
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