3 Things Learned from the Woman's March on Washington

A lot of women (and men) were a part of the Women's March on Washington, all over--not just in Washington. I've been traveling the past month, so was a bit out of the loop on most things, including this. When I first heard about it, I loved the idea: marching for women. I am very pro-woman. But then I got confused because most everything I saw was about being anti-Trump and pro-Planned Parenthood.

I had friends and family involved in the Women's March on Washington, and I had friends and family loudly denouncing it as well. Here are three things I have been thinking about, and are dear to my heart:

1. I love women. Some kind of 'Rachel style' feminism has been brewing in me for awhile now. I want to encourage and empower women. I want everyone to read "Half the Sky" and see that women hold the key to the future. I am raising a woman from the scratch up (see a million pictures of her on Facebook). I do not agree with how our current president treats women, nor did I vote for him. There was a lot I agreed with in the Woman's March, and I believe I would have found many kindred spirits there. 

2. I don't want to be known for what I am against, but what I am FOR. How we word things changes the focus and perspective (as I wrote many years ago): I don't want to march for being anti-Trump, I want to march for being pro-making my world a better place. The March was a huge event, with many women and men being rude and crude, and many men and women desperate to share love and bring life and light. Some people took a stand against the march, and I get that.

Some people went to the march and made it theirs (like my cousin with a Micah 6:8 poster). I love the idea of running to, and creating beauty in hard and controversial situations. It was a Women's march, and up to the women (and men, I hope) to define what it was about, not just the organizers of the march. There were hate yellers, and there were people lovers who showed a better way. Aren't we called to transform culture, not condemn it?

3. I cannot, with a clear conscience, march for hating Trump or Planned Parenthood. Fighting hate with hate never wins, and Planned Parenthood is a whole other discussion. Pro-life and Pro-choice comments are flying around Facebook again, and it stirs me up once more. As one friend pointed out, not many people are pro-abortion, but many people are against the government limiting their choices. No one likes seeing dead babies, but life is hard and choices are even harder.

As someone who wanted to adopt a child that was aborted, I feel strongly about this. As a mother, as a Christian, as a woman: I feel strongly about this (as do most others, agreeing and disagreeing with me). I am pro-abstinence. Waiting to have sex with one man, after we were married, was a big wonderful deal to me. It made life much simpler, even if it was one of the hardest things to do. But I understand that the issue is bigger than that.

I am pro-contraceptives. I have personally used them, since marriage, and there are a million and one reasons why you may need them: not just because you "Don't want kids right now." After working with women in poverty for over 15 years, I feel even stronger about this. Women need choices, especially in places where many other options have been take away.

To the women who find themselves in a corner feeling that an abortion is the only way: I will cry with you. I am so sorry for all the reasons why you have been backed into a such a hopeless place. I will love you and be there for you all I can, no matter what you decide to do. I will (this is a promise) find you other options for your child. But I will also beg you not to kill your child.

I am pro-many choices. But not the choice to kill: that destroys two lives. And #realtalk here? My wish for you is this: that whether or not you agree with my religious standards, you would be blessed with a committed relationship where before sex there is love and straight talk about condoms and birth control and babies and what the plan is, because you are not alone in sex, and you are not alone in your choices. My feminism requires guys to step up before there is talk of child support. My wish for you is that you would feel loved and supported in your sexual and reproductive choices by your sexual partner.

I am glad that Planned Parenthood has helped women get contraceptives. I am glad for any help they have given to women that is not giving (or counseling to give) an abortion. But there are better ways (and many wonderful crisis pregnancy centers!) and even if there is good happening, I will not support the evil of taking unborn lives. I will not support Planned Parenthood.

In Brazil we buy birth control from any pharmacy for a decent price. My suggestion is that Planned Parenthood funding should go to doing that instead. Condoms just don't cover all situations, and having to go get a prescription can be hard (which is currently what you must do, or take a sometimes dangerous "morning after" pill).

The thing about being pro-many choices is that you still can't control what other people choose to do to you. So you may end up in a corner of Planned Parenthood (or worse options) because of choices that others have made. But you do have power. You do have choices besides abortion. You do have the power to give birth--give life--and do right by someone no one has ever met yet. That is why I feel that being pro-life is the empowering choice for women.