It is almost my birthday. I am turning 36 and I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I am in THAT phase of life. The one consumed by little people that you grew and popped out of your own body. It is pretty darn amazing and pretty sleep deprived. And I need to stop and write something about it because otherwise I will forget it completely.
My husband asked what I would like to do for my birthday. Unfortunately, I have no idea. Because in this phase of life, it is really easy to forget everything, especially who you are- let alone what would make you happy for your birthday. And it is just so much work to plan anything special! So I have a couple of tips for myself, to help figure it out:
1. Take a shower. It never happens enough, it doesn’t take a lot of time or money, and you always love it and wonder why you didn’t do sooner.
2. Being sick (or anyone in your family being sick) means stay-cation. Your only goal is to make it through the day in a healthy manner for each member of your family. No guilt about skipping the to-do lists allowed.
3. Naps are friends, and valid presents.
4. Your body is amazing and deserves kindness and grace for functioning. It does not need to look/work the same as it did before creating and delivering a human. It does need special time and resources to build up health after giving it all away.
5. It is okay to forget who you are as you give yourself away to others. Just don’t stay that way. Re-figure it out little by little (and write it down).
6. Read what you wrote about yourself while you were super introspective and single. You don’t have to be that same person, but it will remind you of some things about yourself (good and bad).
7. It is okay to ask for help. You weren’t meant to do it all yourself.
8. It is okay to cry. It is okay to sleep. It is okay to lock yourself in the bathroom for a bit until you can come out a nice, kind mommy again. And try not to grit your teeth when they don’t go to sleep- it is a bad habit.
9. Find ways to stop and enjoy this current phase of life. Find ways to document it so you will remember it later. YouTube videos, Instagram pictures, and Snapchat works for me.
10. This too shall pass.
Finally--just copy and paste what you wrote you wanted in life last year--it still works with minimal edits:
I want to teach, write, plan, create, and organize. This is what I like to do. I like to accomplish things from start to finish.
As a wife, I want our relationship to grow and flourish
I want to know how to support caid in leading our family better
I want to maintain our healthy sex life and get better
I want to not place unspoken expectations on him
As a mom, I want healthy happy children, and to do all I can to promote health for our family
I want to maintain a clean and organized home
I want to provide healthy and nourishing food
I want Ana to be potty trained and both girls on a good sleep schedule
As a woman, I want to get my body healthy and fit
I want to have energy to give my all each day
I want to value my body and invest in it so I can give others my best
I want to be ever closer to God and full of wonder of Him to share with others
I want to grow my skills in writing, presenting, and creating for myself, my family, and ministry
I want to give beauty and refreshment to others, not just my family
I want to have time to bless others, not just get through
I want to have the creativity to do things different, and better as I grow
I want to be able to appreciate the down time and value it for the rest and reset that it is
I want to live in the now but never forget the joy and hope that is God “making all things new” in the end
I want to share all good things with those I love, and to constantly be learning how to love more people and invite them into my family
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