Debriefing (now that we are returning)

A couple of days after we arrived “home” after time on the mission field, someone asked me about debriefing. My mouth fell open and my mind thought “Debriefing? I am just trying to find clean underwear!” I ended up saying something about how things were going well, but I wasn’t ready for debriefing yet—so many initial things hitting me first. Here are some of my thoughts about debriefing, now that we are preparing to return to the mission field from our home assignment (things take me a while):

1. There are many different levels of debriefing needed. Many of the deeper levels depend on the length of time gone and level of trauma experienced.

2.  Debriefing levels include:

a.       Asking how I am doing with re-entry

b.      Asking how things are going in general

c.       Asking how my relationship with God is

d.      Asking if there are any immediate needs you can meet

e.      Having us over for a meal

f.        Sharing a book, articles, Bible verses: something that helped you with transitions

g.       Setting up a meeting/”counseling session” to talk specifically about debriefing (cost: free-$200)

h.      Setting up an overnight away (cost: $100-$250)

i.         Setting up an official debriefing conference (cost: about $1000 a person or more)

3. Personally, I have received everything except the last level. Since we have had shorter mission terms (less than a year), and have not had traumatic experiences to work through, it has been easier to transition back each time. But I do recommend levels a-h for each person each time they return home.

4. Debriefing includes a time of grieving (for change, for loss…). Grieving to me is defined “when you and others give yourself time to focus on yourself and how you feel and how to heal.” Personally, I needed someone to watch my daughter and let me be alone at a coffee shop to grieve. Then I (was ready and) needed time for a date with my husband, for us to grieve together. Then I (was ready and) needed time for us as a family to grieve/talk/heal together.

 5. Hopefully, your missionary is generally at a healthy place and will naturally progress through debriefing. Give them a couple of weeks to unpack and personally prepare to debrief. Check in on them (with the first couple of level questions), especially about immediate needs (we always end up needing clothes ASAP as we change seasons abruptly). After they have been home around a month, you can move on to level e-f to talk more and discuss together what deeper levels of debriefing are needed (g-i). NOTE: If you realize that the missionary is not in a healthy place, you may need to intervene more directly! Sometimes people are not able to see/ask for help.