As an ATI, homeschooled, IKDG reader, I find all of these things interesting to read and understand. I feel like I am still figuring out my own past and how it works into who I am today. A couple of years ago I would have told you I had a pretty awesome childhood. Today I would tell you the same thing. If you had more time to discuss it, there would be more to say about it--ups and downs and what not--but I was blessed and am not afraid to say it. Especially after living in a developing country and realizing what a "hard childhood" can really look like.
I have accidentally wandered into Facebook chats full of angry people against homeschooling, against Bill Gothard, against ATI, against Josh Dugger, against Josh Harris...and they always leave me reeling. First, I feel overwhelming sad over the amount of people hurting--truly hurting--from their childhood. Second, I feel overwhelmingly shocked at the bitterness and hatred spewed out by those hurting people, and others who join them (for I am not sure what reason). Lastly, I tend to run and write a blog to try to organize my thoughts and perhaps just add one more voice to the pile. (See my blog about the Duggars , Josh Duggar, and Bill Gothard)
My childhood was full of all of these people, and they affected me, in some good ways and some bad ways. But more than any of these people, I remember my family. And my family affected me much more--in some good ways and some bad ways. But I love them and miss them and can't wait to see them again and hug them and argue with them and cry and laugh and hopefully not scream too loud. Because that is family.
The thing is, I relate to Josh Harris. I knew much more of what I believed and what was right and wrong and how I would live my life when I was 20 than I do now. I am trying to imagine what it would be like to have written a book when I was 20--and that be the only thing that people know me by now. And then, taking that book and taking all those opinions, pain, bitterness, and hatred thrown at me and not flinching. Having read discussions. Hurting with those who hurt. And trying to find a way toward healing and love and truth. Yes--truth. Sticking to the truth of God, while realizing what parts I added in.
That sounds like what I have been working on for the last 10 years of my life, and will probably take at least another 20 years to do. A comment on the first article about Josh Harris said, "Being able to examine past decisions and consider the possibility that they were mistakes is a sign of a deep, intelligent person. Respect." I hope to be that person too. Especially when I realize, in all of my study of my childhood, that I am currently creating someone else's childhood. Someday, my daughter is going to be writing articles like this about how I raised her. I really hope I don't screw it up.
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