When Daddy Killed Mommy

I don't like to give shocking headlines. But sometimes you need to tell the story.
Yesterday I ran into one of my friends who lives at the trash dump community. She told me that one of the mothers had been murdered by her ex husband on Sunday.
It is one of those passing things where you feel completely lost and overwhelmed and can’t think of what to say. She was on her way to work, so didn’t have time to wait for me to find myself anyway.
Later, our friends from PPC filled us in: the funeral was yesterday, the ex husband had turned himself in, and so by Brazilian law, was free until the trial. To protect the older children from the very upset community, and whatever other danger, they are staying with our friends at PPC until they will live with their aunt. Their aunt who lives at the trash dump community and is already struggling with her own 7 children.
Thank the Lord, they have a psychologist and a lawyer who have offered to help with all the trauma and making sure the kids are safe with their aunt.

(Here is Weric, with his sucker, at our Children's day party just a week and a half ago)

Weric is 10, Tainá is 7, and Rafael is 3. Their father just killed their mother. They don't even have shoes on their feet.

(Taina, in 2013, with one of the volunteers)

I've known this family since 2012, when we started a Saturday children's program at the dump. When Rafael was born, we (the missions group from Shelbyville) took diapers and such to their new home at the Matadoro: things were looking up, as the mother finally had her own home.

(Rafael--the baby--and his mother)

Unfortunately, the only work the mother could find was sorting trash, and the dump was too far to keep walking to every day. So she, with most of the rest of the community, moved back to the trash dump community the last couple years. 

The newspaper article said that the ex husband wouldn't accept that their relationship was over, and attacked her with a knife. She was rushed to the hospital in Carpina, but had lost a lot of blood. Even more sad, the hospital was ill-equipped to care for her, and she soon died. 

I don't understand all of the ends and outs of it, but in Brazilian law, if you freely turn yourself in, you can't be arrested (unless the judge specifically asks for it), and so are free until the trial. My fear was that he would try to grab the children and run, but there seems to be more current danger of the close-nit trash dump community trying to take justice into their own hands, which is why the children are being kept safely far away for now.

We are working on sharing what resources we can, as well as getting immediate needs like hygiene products, shoes, and clothes for the children. What these three children need is someone to come along side them long term and help them financially to be able to stay with their aunt. Please join us in prayer that God would raise up these people, and that He would work miracles in and through this horrible situation. 

Final Sunday Funday of October

Our weekly vlog, just some bits and pieces of life:

And our last Children's Day party for this year, which was at the trash dump community:

October seems to have had a lot of Sundays. It seems long in general. Probably because I am almost to the final countdown for baby birthing. This brings everything to a crawl. Ana Sofia is spending about 50% of her day in BIG GIRL underwear, which is great. Caid was a bit under the weather this week (when he started shivering, in Brazil, we knew something wasn't right), but seems to be better now--whew--because we can't BOTH be grumpy, sleep-deprived people! I am working on shifting from teaching English to finishing up all the end of the year reports, videos, and newsletters, and drinking three liters of water a day. Yep, that is what they say to do. If I aim for 3, I've been getting about 2...which is much better than 1. 

Reads from the Interwebs: 

1. Developing a Theory of Chaos: I need to do this! And for suffering. I think I basically have, but it is always nice to do this "officially."

2. Seven ways to teach your TCKs to process grief: I need this for me too--and totally need to be able to put this together in a way to share with STMT people and Interns who come to Brazil--processing grief is such an important part of re-entry for anyone! 

3. Wonder for Christmas: this is, of course, beautiful, and I would like to have it someday. But I am looking forward to the couple of ideas that I have (thanks Pinterest!) for our first very small little family Christmas this year--the one where I am still hobbling around from having birthed a baby, and we are still worried about how often she eats and poops (has it been three hours?). 

4. Fundamental Sadness and the Deeper Magic: this connected with me and reminded me of read #2--the one about grief. Making sure it is okay for you (and your family) to talk about the sad stuff, the hard stuff, the ugly stuff. I think I shy away from it more than I should (I've often been called the 'rainbows and unicorns' girl).
5. Millions return to Poverty in Brazil: I read this one in the middle of the night this week (when this little baby starts to dance), and was still a little shocked with the statistics: The poverty level for Brazil is when you make less than USD$44 a month. Poverty level in the USA is around USD$1,000 a month. (https://www.thebalance.com/federal-poverty-level-definition…) There is a difference when we talk about global poverty and North American poverty. Having lived in Brazil since 2004, I have seen the "upswing" of wealth in general, and then lately seen more and more of the struggle: please pray for our brothers and sisters in Brazil. 

Sunday Funday in October

Check out our weekly vlog:

Here is also the amazing video (Jeff Turner's creative footage!) from Lagoa de Itaenga's Children's Day:

Soon I will have the video from the Trash Dump Children's day (run by our friends at PPC), and later this week, keep an eye out for our official e-mail update on Children's Day (If you are not signed up for our e-newsletter--please sign up at the bottom of the page on BuildingLivingStones.org) 

Friday was the first day I had to call off teaching because of pregnancy pains/uncomfortableness/exhaustion. I am hoping to make it through October to week 36 before becoming a hermit. Life is just genuinely harder and I am quickly losing any desire to leave the house. That said, I really enjoyed all my Sunday Funday reading today, and teared up at least twice as I read the encouraging things from others. 

Reads from the Interwebs: 

1. Stewardship: where less is more: This explained and connected with me very deeply, and I think is a very good explanation of a lot of what it is to be a missionary. 

2. Pregnancy on the field: This is about a book, but it just confirmed to me the deep need us women feel to connect when pregnant--especially when away from family and familiar. My first pregnancy was mostly spent in the USA: this one has been mostly abroad, and it has just meant more than I can say to have a group of women meeting monthly about pregnancy (Thanks Lindsay!!)

3. The secret about your behavior: An important aspect about addiction that we can't forget. 

4. Do Good: yes, says my heart! 

5. 6.5 Myths about Expat life: another good explanation about missionary life! 

6. I blame the Women: tears, tears, tears. YES! Moving from survival to thrival (whatever). As I got up to pee AGAIN, I wept for all these women who got to continue being mothers! 

7. Should Debt disqualify a missionary? whew, loaded question! As someone who has always said YES, I enjoyed this unresolved read and honesty. 

If you are in Indy--this is where we wish we could be this Thursday: You Are Invited! You are Coming? WORLD RENEWAL 2017 CELEBRATION. This Thursday October 26th 6:30-7:30pm. Brandywine Community Church Chapel 1551 New Road, Greenfield, IN

Children's Day Sunday Funday

It was a week full of celebration, with Children's Day actually being on the 12th. Here are two videos from some of the celebrations:

A big step outside of my comfort zone was on Sunday, when the Community church of Guadalajara asked me to come to the service for the kids...but the whole church would be there! God's grace covered it all, and it went well, in Portuguese, for all ages:). 

Our family had some time to rest and relax, as it was a four-day weekend. We thought about going and doing something fun, but then baby Jessica decided not to let me sleep well most of the nights. Ana Sofia got to play at a friend's house, and was given her two new favorite things: a tricycle and a Peppa pig. Considering she got an unlimited amount of popcorn and cotton candy at all the different celebrations, she really had a very happy weekend. 

Reads from the Interwebs:

1. When you are sure God loves Ann Voskamp more than you: the title had me. 

2. First Pregnancy VS. Now: I am hoping to make a video about this sometime too:) 

3. Speak it: So amazed and broken and blessed by those who have been speaking up with #metoo: I have so many strong loved ones! (If you don't know about #metoo, it is speaking out about having been sexually harassed/taken advantage of/abused.) 

God bless you all, and please don't forget to pray for this Saturday:

1st Pregnancy vs. Now: Reality

Left side: 1st Pregnancy
"Of course we will lead a mission trip on the first day we find out we are pregnant!"
Right side: Now
Learning to trust my body again. #Miscarriagehurts

1st Pregnancy: Perfectly planned monthly pictures

Now: That happened

1st Pregnancy: Let's throw a Christmas party!

Now: I am so glad I am on home assignment and my mommy can cook and take care of me!

1st Pregnancy: Traveling and visiting family

Now: Do I have to leave the house?

1st Pregnancy: Got all my tests caught up-it's a girl!

Now: Oh yeah, pregnancy pictures

1st Pregnancy: Let's find coordinating scarves!

Now: We found out it is a girl! And found a pre-natal doctor. 

1st Pregnancy: Of course we can move to Brazil and begin serving there as a missionary family, furnish an apartment, set up a nursery, and have a baby abroad all in the third trimester!
Now: Grab a camera! I am not dressing up again until after the baby is born.

1st Pregnancy: Good thing we are in a tropical country--I can wear flip flops every day
Now: Good thing we are in a tropical country--pregnancy works as an excuse to not do anything (they actually believe in paid maternity leave, unlike the USA)

1st Pregnancy: Let's get professional pictures done
Now: I am up all night again. Let's find more Pinterest pregnancy memes.

Sunday Funday October

Our weekly vlog is a quick update on life:

And last week was mid-terms at the International school, so for our older students, I had them create videos about Brazil for you guys!!! There are six videos (about holidays, Portuguese, music, and culture) that you should check out, and here is a fun one for you to learn some Brazilian Portuguese verbs and phrases:

I had another pre-natal check-up, and apparently, I am gaining weight really (overly) quickly, for the first time ever (I was always behind weight gain for Ana Sofia), so I gotta step up the exercising (which is exactly opposite of what I want to do). Fun. But everything else is going well--even some successful potty training days for Ana Sofia! (Emphasis on the "some"). 

Reads from the Interwebs: 

1. Leaving (and arriving) well: I love the part about making a movie poster, a movie trailer, and then a feature film about your time (ahem: LIFE) gone. 

2. Ask a Counselor: Faith shift edition: to think your missionaries are NOT going through any kind of faith shifting is sorta crazy. Just sayin.

Have a great week! And next up? CHILDREN'S DAY!!!! Keep us in your prayers as some great opportunities to share Jesus within the church communities is coming up!

October Sunday Funday

Our weekly vlog (especially for the grandmas):

It is October! October 12 in Brazil is Children's Day, and we started the celebrations off big today in Cajueiro Claro (video to come soon!). I am sunburned, tired, so pregnant, and barely keeping my eyes open at 8:30pm. So many thank yous to so many people--what a great team we have for Living Stones! 

Reads from the Interwebs:
1. Dear NFL: this one says my opinion exactly (haha).
2. Daring to Hope: eeeep! I want this book! Written by "Kisses from Katie"!
3. You're as free as you break others free: I am slowly savoring Ann's latest book during my pre-natal checkups:). Love how she lives it.
4. Homesickness feels uncannily like grief: Mostly I just say it is grief.

Those of you in the USA (at least the middlish parts), enjoy your fall! Feeling the lack of changing seasons and pumpkin flavored everything here...