Update on our Home Assignment

Hey everyone! Now that we are leaving in 6 weeks, I am getting into countdown mode. Our main goals for this home assignment:
1.  Time with family
2. Meet with everyone we can about our ministry and Living Stones
3. Raise the needed funds for ourselves and others
4. Get as much training as possible to do our jobs better.
We are doing well on all of these goals, and here are some surprising extra blessings (besides PEOPLE we love--that is another post!) from this trip:

1. The Gathering Place: located next to the Community Church of Greenwood, they are a wonderful gym and workout place that also has a Tot Spot. They were kind enough to provide us with passes (including childcare), and this has made a HUGE difference to our trip. Not only has this helped us to be healthy, but our girls are old enough now that it is important to have things planned outside the house: and to be regular about it. And I am just ecstatic to be able to workout and SHOWER by myself (the simple joys of moms with young children). This is an unexpected blessing that I didn't even know to ask for!

2. Needing A Place to Stay: This is our first Home Assignment where we haven't stayed with my parents, and I really was nervous and unsure how that would work. But it has actually been an incredible blessing to be in a place of need, and see how God provided, and experience so much kindness from so many! Thank you to Steve and Ann Turner (our first month in the USA), Ferguson family in Connecticut and Wayne in Ohio (our second month), my sister (our 3rd month), and the Jones's (the last 3 months).

3. Aldi and the Library: we so appreciate the quality and convenience of these places--in Indiana, Ohio, and Connecticut.

4. Regular Dates: Caid and I are actually having weekly dates (for the last couple weeks), and it is just really nice and needed. We have grandparents and family that actually WANT and keep ASKING to take our kids off our hands. It is hard having your normal be so far away from family:(.

5. Grandpa Magic: Jessica is not the best sleeper, and we just celebrated THIS MONTH her first sleeping through the whole night, but my dad has magical powers at naptime: when he (and only he) puts her down on the bed and says "Shhhh! Time for bed!" and closes the door, she sighs, and goes directly to sleep (EVERY. SINGLE. TIME). I don't ask why--I am just grateful.

Lastly, here is the list of needs to bring back to Brazil:

1. Personal support: so grateful to be half-way there, but still need $500 monthly support
2. Old(er) phones for ministry leaders (must be unlocked, later models—series 5 or more)
3. 3-6 large suitcases (new or used)
4. Music speakers for outdoor performances (new or used)
5. CD players (100-240v, sturdy for kids, new or used)
6. “Spot it” game ($13 Barns and Nobel)
7. “When I pray for you” by Matt Paul Turner ($12 B&N)
8. 500 Writing Prompts ($10 B&N)
9. The Story of my Life ($7 B&N)
10. Pre-k wipe clean workbook ($10 B&N)
11. “It will be okay” by Lysa Terkeurst ($12 online)
12. “Overturning Tables” by Scott Bessenecker ($18 online)
13. Codenames—PICTURE VERSION ($15 online)
14. Roar: sing and play music DVD ($14 online)
15. Connect 4
16. Bubble concentrate (or ingredients to make it in Brazil)
17. Water balloons
18. Birthday cards
19. First aid kits
20. Facepaint
21. Small toys/prizes/gifts for boys and girls
22. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (used, 4 copies)
23. White Duck tape (2 rolls)

For Living Stones and Teaching English in Ministry (available at the Arts and Education store)
1. Jesus parable posters ($12)
2. Nativity poster ($12)
3. Teach me to pray poster ($3)
4. All about Jesus ($3.50)
5. Birthday posters (need 5, $3.50 each)
6. Writing process, parts of speech, good readers do, be more descriptive, word families, and vowels posters ($3.50 each)
7. Instasnow jar ($13)
8. Dry erase calendar ($3)
9. Dry erase job chart ($2)
10. Sight words placemat ($3)
11. USA map placemat ($3)
12. Money placemat ($3)
13. Opposites, time, money, rhyming flashcards ($4 each)
14. Facial expressions flashcards ($12)
15. Dry erase packets (5 for $12.50)
16. Dry erase roll ($16.50 for 24”x10’)

Sunday Funday March

Our weekly vlog:

I think as much as "normal" and "routine" are during a home assignment, we have gotten into the swing of things. Little things like regular nap times (my dad is magical at putting Jessica to sleep) , date times, and food schedules are important, and we (especially Jessica) appreciate it. But then again, I am watching my "to get done before we leave" list grow as our time gets shorter, and that is a bit stressful. But this week we celebrated my nephew's 9th birthday, and the birth of Serenity, my best friend's daughter. Caid had a great opportunity to help out with a basketball clinic, and connect with some cool new people, and I got to share at our women's brunch, and get more ESL experience.

Reads from the Interwebs:
1. Spiritual Growth books by Enneagram type: YES!! Very excited about this;)
2. Is Missionary Work Colonialism? Such a good and important question, and I love how the writer tackles it. I also enjoy the point of the current Colonialism being popular culture through TV and the Internet. I will never forget walking up to the home of one of the Living Stones kids homes (made of mud and sticks) and seeing "Icarly" on their reasonably nice TV. The kids don't have much--but they see, every day, what the rest of the world considers "normal." I also loved the Biblical examples of "Relocators." By the way, have I ever told you about my theory about single mothers being today's widows from the New Testament church?
3. What "Leaving Neverland" reveals about abuse systems: an important read
4. Revisiting Mary and Martha
5. Four ways to make your home abroad cozy and tidy: I love these kinda articles, especially as I get ready to move in Brazil!
6. Toxic truth about Modern Food: an interesting read, as I see how much harder it is to say NO to all kinds of snacks all the time while here in the USA, while I find it much easier in Brazil.
7.  A Quiet Exodus: we need to be reading and talking about this

Sunday Funday St.Patrick's Day

Our weekly vlog, one was catching up from our time with Thalia:

and the other was from last week's festivities:

Best of Luck to you on St. Patty's Day! For us, it was COOOOOOOLD, especially after being so delightfully warm earlier in the week. We went to the parade with friends and Sofia kept calling it a "Masquerade" because she'd heard that word from Minnie Mouse. Jessica fell asleep in the backpack I had her in, and Sofia kept sneaking all the parade candy into her mouth before I could get it from her into my bag. But a great time was had by all, and I can never resist a time to dress up the girls--although I am getting worse at remembering to actually get pictures of it! 

Thank you to everyone who made Caid's 29th birthday lovely: we appreciate it!

Reads from the Interwebs: 

1. Happy Missionaries: yikes, this was a hard one for me to write about some things I've been thinking about lately

2. Birth Stories: a lighter look at a deep subject (from me)
3. Home: we need more words for this (from me again)
4. One by one: as soon as she started talking about ants, I connected with her
5. Lent, part 2 by Ann Voskamp
6. Upside Down Dependency

Home

If Eskimos have 20 words for snow, shouldn’t missionaries have at least 4 words for home?

Home = Family. You will always come home to family

Home = Where you spend the most time sleeping. For now, Brazil is home

Home = Where you are currently sleeping. We’ve had 5 different homes in the past two months

Home = Our forever heavenly home. This is why we never really feel quite sure where to call home on this earth

Birth Stories

I think women should write two birth stories: one soon after the experience- as therapy and reflection. But most people won’t want to read that. After a couple of years and laughs and talking and sharing war and awe stories- I think us women should write another birth story. One that has a bit more perspective and humor and less open wound. One where we have our battle scars and realize that our bodies are incredible, fallible, strong, and resilient. A story about how we see the bigger picture and those agonizing hours changed our lives forever.
***

My first birth freaked my body out. My body was trying to figure out what the heck was going on. Somewhere deep inside something knew, and was driving on deep, but the rest of me could never seem to catch my breath- literally. My husband kept telling me to breath and I kept trying to tell him I couldn’t remember how. When one contraction let me rest long enough to talk, I told him “don’t tell me to breathe- just breathe loudly next to me so I can copy you.”
It took almost the whole birth for my body to figure out how to push with the contractions and to finally get that baby out. By the time the baby was ready, I’d had contractions for 24 hours. I’d been in pain every five minutes or less for 15 hours. I was in active labor for 10 hours. I was so exhausted. But I was going to do anything I had to to get that baby out. And I pooped in front of everyone and my vagina was all over the place for like 3-6 men and women, and I didn’t care.
When my baby’s head came out, my husband was shocked because she looked just like him. I was too exhausted to care or push, and so she stayed there- head out, body in, for like 10 more minutes. When the rest of her wiggled out, I was so relieved. Not happy- relieved. Done. Finally. Thank God. The nurse actually had to pick her up out of the water (we were in a birthing pool) and put her on my chest because I forgot about that part. And then there was blood and a bit of scary stuff where my uterus wasn’t contracting and I got a shot and some things but I was too tired to worry much. And then sleep. And I think it was work paying the $5000 bucks for those couple of scary after minutes- and the fact they cleaned up that mess. It was nasty stuff. And no, I didn’t want to save/eat/see my placenta.
I wasn’t scared until we got home with this little creature and I realized I wasn’t sure if I knew how to keep her alive. Caid and I googled a lot of things. Things you don’t think of until you are home alone with a newborn. But we made it. And crazy us- we did it again.

After my first birth, I was sure I could do anything else life threw at me. My body was incredible, and for the first time of my life, I stopped criticizing the parts I didn’t like as much, and gave my body much more grace to recover, relearn, and do life.
My body had it figured out for my second birth. The last couple of months (and she wasn’t born until an hour shy of 42 weeks) of pregnancy was exhausting, and for some reason I couldn’t sleep until 2am or later, with my 2 year old waking up at 6am. But the birth? I rocked it!
When baby #2 finally decided to come, we calmly dropped off our kid at a friend's house and waited in line (we were at the free public hospital this time, not the private pay one). By the time they saw me, I was 7cm dialated, but not in much pain/contractions. But soon after being shown a bed it started, and 8 hours later she was born. I had a doula and a husband who messaged me and breathed next to me (not telling me to breathe, just breathing with me) and we were a great team. I bounced on the ball. I walked around, I showered. I progressed beautifully until the final pushing stage where we got the one birthing pool in the building (thank you Jesus!) for the last two hours.
I focused on the goal- getting baby out. I was loud, I was direct, and while it was just as much pain as the last time, when my baby was born I had enough energy to pick her up and hold her. I even smiled for the picture. I felt like I knew what was going to happen and charged in and took control. It was really powerful.

I was really blessed in both births to have a team of people who helped me succeed. It was my body that was allowed to go at its own pace, and get the job done that it was created to do. I am so grateful to have positive, healthy birth stories, and I love to share them, as birthing was an empowering experience for me, and I hope to encourage others to take charge of their own stories.

Happy Missionaries

Back in February I read THIS, and I haven't stopped thinking about it, so I needed to write about it (that's how it works, right?). The Guiltitude article said, "A poor, burned out or suffering missionary is not more godly than a comfortable, healthy and happy missionary." And that really hit me:

Why don't we want comfortable, healthy, and happy missionaries?

It seems like something we should want, right? But never once have I stated (or even thought) that my goal was to be comfortable or happy (healthy, yes, because it is waaaaaaay too expensive to be unhealthy) as a missionary. Especially the "Comfortable" part. Of course we don't want burned out missionaries, but a little poor and suffering does some good, right? Why do I think this? Why do we (in general) think this?

I can't say that all the missionary biographies I read growing up helped. Not that I think they are bad, or we shouldn't read them, but there are many ways to tell the same story. And I think the missionary biographies that we have should make sure to reflect at least a balance of the 90% (or more) of missionary life (which is much like everyone else's' life) rather than just the 10% (or less) of the amazing, spectacular, God-magic moments. That is another discussion.

The main reason why I think it is hard for us to want comfortable, healthy, and happy missionaries is that us missionary supporters (I am one of those too) are not comfortable, healthy, and happy people. And If I am not comfortable, healthy, and happy, why should the person I am giving my hard earned money be comfortable, healthy and happy? Is that fair?

It gets worse.

If I follow this train of thought down to all of it's ugly honesty, we don't want comfortable, healthy, and happy missionaries because we think that to be a comfortable, healthy, and happy person we need MORE money, and MORE free time (and MORE whatever else). So if my missionary is comfortable, healthy, and happy, it must mean they have more money than me. It must mean they have more free time (and less work) than me. It must mean they have more (fill in the blank) than me: and that's not fair. Someone I support should be sacrificing MORE than me.

Ouch. It literally hurt something in me to type that out.

I haven't thought this through enough to figure out the answers yet, but I am working on it. And I want to thank the amazing people in my life who do not have this problem like I do, and do all they can to make sure I am a comfortable, healthy, and happy missionary: because they actually really desire that for me. Maybe because they have learned for themselves how to be comfortable, healthy, and happy people?

In the end, no supporter can make comfortable, healthy, and happy missionaries: that depends on their  personal relationship with God. But money issues do create a whole world of issues that make life much harder, more uncomfortable, and unhealthy. As missionary supporters--no--as human beings, we need to figure out how to be comfortable, healthy, and happy people through Jesus, and desire that for our missionaries--no--all other human beings.

March Sunday Funday

Our weekly vlog:

We had a wonderful time with Thalia, Caid's niece (another video to come soon!). It is so important to stop and smell the flowers:).

Reads from the Interwebs: 

1. The Color of Hope

2. Want a Lent of more?

3. "On a Plate" Comic: I would have enjoyed just the comic, without all the explanation--and I would make my own comic about the difference of being born in a developing country, or a developed country. 

4. A Very Simple Rule: my sister says this is only true for morning people, but I think it is a great rule (as a morning person)

5. Women's History Month: so this is a thing? I didn't know before, but I loved this Pinterest pin I found (just pretend that May 2017 is March 2019) for Women's history:).

Sick Sunday Funday

Our Weekly Vlog:

We were all a bit sickly this week, and didn't even get to go to church this Sunday:(. But we are super happy and excited about having Caid's niece Thalia with us for the week. She decided to spend her week off of work to fly and visit us in Indianapolis from Boston, and we are so happy to have her! We also celebrated John's 19th Birthday, Jessica's first ice cream cone, and Sofia's first time to a trampoline park.

Reads from the Interwebs:
1. Black History Month: I finally wrote something as it was ending...
2. The Sacred Enneagram: I finally got my thoughts together on this
3. Cultural or Christian: along the same train of thought as I was when I wrote "Black History Month"
4. Transition is Complicated. Kind of like Spinach
5. 25 Ways to Tackle Racism