The vlog this week is mostly all about Ana Sofia. Her favorite foods are green olives, beans, and cheese. She is crazy in love with all animals, especially dogs. Her favorite word is "Daddy," but she also says "shoes" and "boca" (which is mouth in Portuguese). Today, while talking to Grandma Ferguson, she also said "vovo" which is Grandma in Portuguese. So basically, she says whatever language is easier to pronounce.
If you haven't (or have already), check out our website, which has the other video I did this week, and awesome new graphics, which I am learning to do. Caid preached today in Cajueiro Claro, and it was such a blessed time. This weekend was the last of our Children's day parties: 5 celebrations, 8 communities, and around 300 children: it's been awesome and tiring (as most good things in life). Here are some of their lovely faces:
A read from the Interwebs (and then a rant from Rachel):
"Why is it Always about Money?" It is a good general question, but specifically it lists an article I posted here recently (What's Wrong with Western Missionaries?) that I can't get out of my head. This whole idea of interdependence and reciprocal relationships and what that means. The thing is, I have mostly been thinking, as the article says, about money. What about everything else?
I have also been wrestling with how to balance deeper relationships with "working myself out of a job." These two objectives that we have as missionaries seem to be warring against each other: are we hear to set down roots and create meaningful relationships, or are we hear to train, cheer on, and then let local leaders fly as we quietly step back? Paradoxes and promises and a lot more to think about.
And then there is going home, "Home." Someone (graciously) brought up if our supporters knew that two able-bodied people would be returning home for a year for personal reasons, and if we would be working full time. It was done in a kind way, but it still hit me a bit. My first reaction was to throw back facts: Yes, they know. Yes, Caid and I clock in around 70 hours a week (I am part time, as am a full-time mom), and will continue to do so, working for World Renewal International while in Indiana.
I wanted to explain how I am conflicted with this "personal reason" of going home, and Zika and children and diseases and natural birth and money...and how I wish my child would be Brazilian, but we feel this is how God is leading. I wanted to share how missionary furloughs, or "home assignments" as we call them, are great and wonderful and really, really complex and difficult. How the transitions get complicated with children.
I wanted to explain so much because I wanted to justify myself. It sounded like the person didn't trust that we work hard, or that our work is valid. It sounded like they were saying we were taking a year of vacation, and were not fair to our supporters. I know this person trusts me. They wanted to make sure it didn't look bad to others who might not know me. And it might. Anything different from a 9 to 5 job is often misunderstood, especially when it involves other people's money.
There are awful people who have taken the label "Missionary" or "minister" and then abused it. Accountability and transparency are important. Working hard and serving with quality is a must. I have, and always will work to be a trustworthy missionary. That is one of the reasons why we have started doing weekly vlogs: we invite you into our daily life as a missionary. The old way of doing missions, where you get a report once every four years, needs to change: that is not enough support or accountability for either side (the missionary and the supporter). We feel that it is part of our calling to have reciprocal relationships with our supporters, and so we open the door for you to see our lives through video. We invite you to come to Brazil. We send you more e-mails than you have time to read. And we are excited to have more time in the USA to cultivate those relationships in person. How much of it counts as official "work time?" That is a tricky line to walk.
There is another side to giving. When I give money to churches, or people, or ministries, I don't give because they "convinced me it was a good idea." I give because I feel like God is asking me to. In a very real way, I am giving it to God. And while I work hard to give responsibly, I also give without strings attached. My rational, practical self says, "Hey, if they misuse it, God will get 'em" which is completely wrong doctrine, but you get the idea.
Unfortunately, just like we blame Disney for our relationship problems, I blame all those missionary biographies for this "Spend no money and never take a vacation slave missionary" idea. I say this in part jest, part seriousness (and I still read and recommend missionary biographies and Disney movies). I know I put missionaries on pedestals so much, it took me years to call myself a missionary. So we get to the bottom line: who decides if we were careful enough or worked hard enough? God, or the people who give us money?
I hope all our supporters trust us (and from their responses, they overwhelmingly do!), but I hope even more that they gave/give to us not because we deserve it, or have a pretty prayer card, but because God wanted them to. I hope beyond hope it isn't because I guilted them into it with a really passionate presentation. I want them to give because God told them to, and that is its own reward. No strings attached.
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