Once You Ask..

A recent conversation with my sister yielded this insight: “Once you ask people for money, you give them permission to judge you.”

And whether this is right or not, this is true. And I am entering a world I shunned for a long time. The first four years I served as a missionary, I did not call myself a missionary, and I didn’t ask for funds (aside from close family members). I came home part of every year and worked to pay for most of my expenses.

Then a friend asked me, “Do you not feel worthy to be called a missionary? How is this going to work for your future?” I sat down and put together my first budget, and let people know my needs. I lived off of less than half the USA poverty level. I lived simply, and often waited to purchase items, but didn’t lack any needs. It wasn’t until 2012 that I realized I was WORTH my hire.

I was a trained professional who was logging in 60-80 hour work weeks because I loved and believed in what I was doing: and I was doing a really good job. And I didn’t need to feel guilty about asking people to support me. In what I had chosen to do, it simply wasn’t a paid position—but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a needed position, or a valid position.

I also realized that just as I needed funds to continue, people needed opportunities to give. This is quite a concept. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am: becoming a missionary family. Asking people for money to help us live (and give birth) in Brazil. It is a big, scary step. It is inviting a lot of eyes, ears, and opinions into my life that I’d rather ignore. But it is also opening up to share an incredible adventure with others—the one that I believe God has called us (and prepared us) to do.