The Ugly Truth About Representing Someone Else

When I sold cookies and wore a green vest, I represented the Girl Scouts. My friend puts up his gang sign and represents the Westside. When I put on a shirt that had “Abercrombe and Fitch” written across it, my father said, “You represent THAT?”

I made the scariest, hardest, best decision when I was eight. I decided to give my life to Jesus and represent Him. The ugly truth about representing someone else is that you don’t know everything about them. There are always things you don’t know.

I went to Brazil and represented America—they thought all Americans laughed a lot. I’ve been ashamed to be called a Christian before. Not because of Christ, but because of what the person spitting out the word ‘Christian’ had been through. I didn’t want to represent THAT to them. The ugly truth about representing someone else is that you aren’t them, and so sometimes you are going to get it wrong.

When I was homeschool and enrolled in ATI (IBLP, Bill Gothard’s program) and I wore a navy skirt and white shirt, I represented ATI. And I was told how to represent them well. I worked really hard on the sparkly eyes. The figurehead of the ministry is Bill Gothard. The ugly truth about representing someone else is that you only show part of the picture. Figureheads help people personalize an idea, an organization, a ministry—it can also set people up for destruction.

A scandal within the ministry can destroy the figurehead, even if they have nothing to do with it. Captain going down with the ship. And a scandal with the figurehead can bring down the whole ministry. Should this happen isn’t the question—the reality is that it will happen.

When I became coordinator of Living Stones, I realized that for many people, I would be the “face” of the ministry. That scared me because I know that “but for the grace of God,” that affair, that scandal, that embarrassing fallout would be me. It wouldn’t be just about me, it would be about all I represented: Living Stones, my family, my Jesus.

The ugly truth about representing someone else is that you are responsible for their actions, and they are held responsible for yours. Christians all over the world represent Christ and have destroyed His reputation by their actions. Many pastors have represented their church and then destroyed it through their actions. Bill Gothard represents IBLP and many are out to destroy the whole ministry because of his alleged actions.

The ugly truth about representing someone else is that it doesn’t matter if it is true or not—the general perception that people gather of the representation will affect the outcome and their response: and you can’t control that.

The allegations against Mr. Gothard made me question my involvement with ATI, IBLP, and Mr. Gothard as well. I had to look back and ask some hard questions about his teachings, memories I had in the program, and of myself personally. If it was true, what did that mean to me? If it was false, what did that mean to me? The ugly truth about representing someone else is that if people forget you are just a representation; trouble, misunderstanding, and hurt are bound to follow.

Bill Gothard packaged and presented many Biblical truths well. But some people forgot it was just a package, and not an invention. IBLP is not Bill Gothard. Bill Gothard is not God, not the Bible, not all those other people I met through the program. He is an imperfect representation, and when he, or my parents, or pastor, or mentors fail me or fail at representing what they stand for—I have to understand that it happens—but it doesn’t change what they represented.

The truth is that we all represent someone/something. Some we choose (our job, our religion), and some are chosen for us (our family, our ethnicity). Representing these things is hard and scary and beautiful and one of the things that gives meaning to our lives. But we also have to understand the responsibility and boundaries that come with representing someone else.

We are imperfect representations, and when we fail, we need grace to get back up and try again, without blaming what we represent, or finding something new to represent. And when others fail, we need grace to forgive and heal and know that God will give justice, and it was a person—not what they represented. 

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For more information: World Magazine 

This link has links to most all of the main information: The Way Forward

Most of the information you will read is very full of hatred and blame. Some of it is pain caused from very real sin, and some of it is lashing out because it is easier than letting go.