Three Weeks Normal

I got married three weeks ago. And I am amazed at life and change, and how smoothly and quickly it can happen. I am captivated by the idea of “normal,” and how we CREATE our own version of normal. I have worked a long time to live an intentional life: choosing what I wanted in my life, creating a life that pleased God, made me feel good, and helped others.

For 30 years I created the normal for Rachel Winzeler. And I did it pretty darn well. And then, I changed my name. Symbolic for changing everything. The normal I see right now, this morning, typing on this computer is so completely different from the normal I had one month ago—and yet—it is still ME.

Caid and I are now intentionally working on this new “normal.” This isn’t easy because there are two brains/ideas now. My previous version of productivity has decreased 90%, but my happiness and completeness has increased 80%, and in ways I never expected: there is a whole world of companionship I never knew existed.

I looked at the row of single students at the Thanksgiving Eve service and I gasped at the idea of going home alone. I never missed it that deeply while single—but I must admit, it was because I didn’t know how nice it could be to go home with someone, your someone every night. It is an unexplainable comfort and joy to me. A blessing I never expected.

And we stay up late to talk through something that bothered one of us until we figure out why. And then we snuggle together in the firm belief that nothing can touch us there and honeymoons last forever. No, it isn’t perfect, but it is honestly better than I thought it would be. Not that I thought marriage was horrible, but I’ve seen quite a few, and it just seemed generally…hard.  But I see why nine out of ten people get married now.

And my normal has already changed to not being able to imagine being single again. My normal is okay with spending an evening “accomplishing nothing,” because I simply spent time with him. For the first time in my life, I am fine with doing nothing, because I realize it isn't NOTHING--it is the most BEAUTIFUL thing--because when I am doing "nothing" with Caid--it is relationship building, it is deep soul growing...and even if we are just snuggled up and watching a movie--it is something important I am doing--I am creating a most amazing wonderful marriage/relationship/soul bond forever. And that is worth investing my life into making.