and
We have been in Connecticut with Caid's family, enjoying introducing Jessica to everyone (she is not very social) and Sofia is bossing around her cousins (she knows better than to boss her aunties). We have had Make your own pizza Monday, Taco Tuesday, Spagetti Wednesday, Rice and beans Thursday, Lasagna Friday, Tuna Mac Saturday, and Stir-fry Sunday. I feel like I am getting this cooking for everyone who shows up thing down (it is only my 5th year of trying). It is really great (as always) to get to go to Caid's childhood church, telling Sofia "This is where daddy went when he was little Caid."
We rang the New Year in at 8pm, put the girls to bed, and were sleeping before midnight because that is the current phase of life we are in. I consider January (while in Connecticut) to be a slight extention to 2018, so I can organize my 2019 goals, as well as "best of" 2018 things (books, movies, vlogs, blogs, pictures...). Hopefully that will happen in the next couple weeks. We are grateful and mostly all healthy now, but with Jessie starting a new round of teething, we are still not having great sleep at night (for anyone, as we 4 share a room).
Happy New Year!
Reads from the Interwebs:
2. Marrying Across Cultures: No two families are the same cultures, so everyone should read this. But especially for those of us who marry someone (even if you seem like 99% on the same page) from quite a different culture.
3. Goal Setting: some alternatives to New Years Resolutions: personally, I think your New Years Resolutions should already be grounded in some basic goal setting skills so you are doing actual practical work instead of golden-eyed baseless dreams anyway...but go ahead, mix it up:).
4. What an Abolitionist taught me: This really gets to me
5. Go ahead and Criticize Missions (Constructively): This is very important to me. There are problems in missions. Big problems we need to fix. But. In the right way. I remember I read two books really close together: "Toxic Charity" and "When Helping Hurts." The first book was easier, faster, and more fun to read. The second bogged me down again, and I felt like it kept going in circles and repeating itself a lot. I liked the first one better, hands down. I went to a training conference, and they were promoting "When Helping Hurts." I asked them what they thought about "Toxic Charity" and the teacher wisely said something like this: "It might be an easier read, but it doesn't give us anything to work with. It points out the problems, but then stops. It doesn't work toward any solutions."
This made me see things differently. No, "When Helping Hurts" isn't my favorite book, but it is more helpful and in the long run, I have used it ten times as much as the other book. The secret is this: it is pretty darn easy to point out problems, in just about every area of life. It is a lot of really hard, painful work to not give up and keep hammering out solutions and ideas and failings and getting back up and trying again. It takes humility and grace to point out problems and not put a period on it, but a comma. To continue the discussion. To remember to be grateful and still see the good in things.
I just finished reading "The Very Worst Missionary" by Jamie Wright. It was a good read with many insights. I have heard her speak, and I just started following her Instagram. But after reading it I have put her in the category of the first book, rather than the "When Helping Hurts" group. This isn't a bad thing, it just is what it is. And it is important to make sure that I have a balance, and both kinds of resources. I consider "A Life Overseas" a resource in the second group--an ongoing discussion of "what now?" for the missions community, and I hope that Jamie's next book goes in that direction.
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