30 Things I Learned about Self-Esteem

1. Self-esteem, as often termed, is often a bunch of bogus. Make sure to know what you are talking about
2. That said, finding your self-worth, through Christ, is crucial and must be faced and dealt with
3. Culture, and the church, has told women (especially) that their value is through what they do (service), or how they look, not who they are
4. In my life, this led to constant guilt/shame if I felt I was not giving/serving enough, because that meant that I wasn’t enough as a person. I thought it was selfish/wrong to look good/invest in myself
5. I am something special because God created me, and made me for something unique. I am made in God’s image, and He loves me. He loves me like THAT
6. There is nothing I can do to make God love me more than He already does
7. It isn’t wrong/selfish to take care of yourself, to invest in yourself, and to look good. It is important and should be valued
8. I need to be the best me God can make me because I have only one life to live, and there are people/children that need to see Jesus in me
9. I take care of me so that I can be there to fully give myself
10. When I say I am not worth it, I am calling God and those who love me a liar
11. When I say I am ugly, I am telling God He messed up
12. When I say I can’t do something, I am saying God isn’t big enough
13. When I am “downing” on myself, I am taking the focus off of God and onto myself. That is true selfishness
14. There will always be people prettier/better than I am, and also people uglier/worse than I am. Comparison never helped
15. It is important to know myself. Take the time to do it/self-reflect (some questions to ask myself are: How is my heart? What do I need to take care of my heart? What are my talents (natural ability) and skills (learned ability)? What has made me what I am? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What makes me feel fulfilled? What is my definition of success? Am I doing it?)
16. Knowing/saying that I deserve better in a situation isn’t pride, it is knowing limits and boundaries
17. Proper self-worth requires being honest with yourself—about your weaknesses AND strengths
18. It is important to surround yourself with people who are honest and encouraging
19. Trying new things, even if you fail, grows your comfort zone and your self-worth
20. Negative talk about/to yourself is just as bad as if you do it about/to others. Don’t
21. When you understand your value, you are free to see the value of others
22. In the end, you are the only you. You are the one who will wake up every morning to deal with the decisions you make. So take responsibility and be you
23. Other people always have something to say. Listen, pray, and then let go. They do not know everything, and they don’t know what it is to be you
24. Take responsibility for your life because life is going to happen with or without you
25. There is always another way. Refuse to be stuck in the box
26. Learn basic self-confident skills: speaking in pubic, standing strong, using silence. Acting confident leads to being confident
27. Don’t keep apologizing. Make the changes you need to change and let go of the things you can’t control
28. Laugh at yourself. You and life are funny
29. Accept complements. The person saw something and commented—say thank you
30. Proper self-worth is having hope and being positive about your dreams/plans for the future. And dreaming big
31. Beauty is important. I need it in my life and I need to know I am beautiful as I am. And be reminded of it often